Budget Advice - Destination Weddings

Q: My fiancé and I would love to get married at an exotic location but were wondering what sorts of costs are involved? Are destination weddings usually more expensive than having one close to home?

~Mary S., Dover, NH

A: Destination wedding are always economical for a number of different reasons, but the main reason is because you have control over every aspect of it, from the location to your guest list. Hometown celebrations can easily get out of control with outside influences (ie., your families) wanting a piece of the planning pie. Hosting a destination wedding says “we want to do things our way.” With the world as your altar, the possibilities are endless so take some time to research the best option for your budget.

Bridal Party - When the Best Man's a She Instead of a He?

Q: My fiance wants to have his sister as his "best man." As much as I hate the idea, I know it's becoming popular. My question is, how should she dress? Like my bridesmaids or like the other groomsmen?
-Stacy - Washington, DC-

A: Etiquette is still evolving around this new twist in gender roles, but whatever you do, please don't put her in a tuxedo. And give her a corsage, not a boutonniere. The idea here is to give your future sister-in-law an honored part of the ceremony, not to pass her off as a guy, no matter which side of the aisle she stands on. General rule: The groom's female honor attendant can wear a gown similar to your bridesmaids' dresses or a pantsuit of the same color.
-Cori Russell - Style and Etiquette Editor, Wedding Expert -

Registry - How to let wedding guests know where you're registered

Q: I've heard that it's inappropriate to include registry information in your wedding invitations. How can you let your wedding guests know where you've registered?
-Jamile Wright - Brooklyn, NY-

A: You're correct that including registry information in your wedding invites is a no no (as it implies that gift-giving is required instead of optional). Here are your options to get the word out about your bridal registry:

The best way is for your family and bridal party to inform inquiring guests through word-of-mouth. Wedding guests realize that the couple has most likely set up a regsitry; if they want to know where the couple is registered - they'll ask.

Another option is to have your maid of honor include registry information in your shower invitations. Since bridal showers - by their very nature - are events where guests are to "shower" the bride with gifts, placing registry information in shower invitations is not considered a breach of etiquette.

If you have a wedding website, you can include it there amongst other wedding details. Just don't make your regsitry the focus of the entire site. Remember, the focus of a wedding should be on the couple's decision to make a lifelong commitment - not on their choice of china pattern.

-Cori Russell, Style and Etiquette Editor, Wedding Expert

For more etiquette advice, visit the complete Wedding Etiquette Guide at Elegala.com - Elegant Galas Made Simple

Groom's Advice - Inviting ex to wedding?

Q: My fiancé wants to invite his ex to the wedding, and the idea makes me uncomfortable. I would never think of inviting one of my ex-boyfriends. Am I being unreasonable if I ask him not to ask her? - Barbara, Des Moines, IA

A: You’re marrying not only the parts of your guy that you like, you’re marrying all of him, which includes embracing all of the relationships he considers important. So, I think you are being unreasonable if you were to tell him she couldn’t or shouldn’t come. You can’t be the judge of which relationships are important enough for him to keep and which ones aren’t. If you did, that’s a one way ticket to the doghouse – and displaying some serious insecurities along the way, which no guy likes.

Using your relationship with your exes as a guide is a bit unfair too, because again, that’s not the relationship in question and there’s no way for you to know how close his friendship with his ex is today. You may think they’re just acquaintances, but he might have played down their friendship while you were dating so you wouldn’t get jealous. Now, he’s openly telling you she’s an important friend and trusting you to recognize she is just that, a friend. You really don’t have much of an argument as he’s obviously told you that you are the only woman in his life when he proposed. By asking him not to invite her, he might read that as you’re questioning his devotion to you. Plus, here’s your chance to prove to him that jealousy is not a part of your m.o. and earn a few bonus points for being so mature about the situation in the process.

Still, because you are uncomfortable, it can’t hurt to talk to him about it. Just explain how you feel. Chances are, what he says will put you at ease, or maybe he will realize it would make you uncomfortable – us guys are notoriously clueless so it’s definitely possible he never thought it would make you uncomfortable – and decide not to invite her.

If she does come, she’s certainly not going to be the first person you look forward to saying hi to, but remember that he’s marrying you and if he’s mature enough to have a friendship with an ex worthy of an invite, then you should be mature enough to accept that.

For more wedding planning advice geared towards the guys, check out this complete Planning for Grooms Guide at Elegala.com - Elegant Galas Made Simple

Theme Weddings – How to Save on a Spring Wedding?

Q: I’m planning a wedding next spring. What are some easy tips for springtime savings?

A: Spring has finally sprung, and it’s about time, if you ask me. Grass is getting greener by the day and flowers are blooming at last. What’s not to love about the springtime? Each season offers its own savings advantages, so make sure you reap the benefits:

Go Outside

The obvious choice for hosting a wedding during temperate months is to throw an outdoor soiree. Not only will your guests appreciate the fresh air minus the humid climate, but a naturally beautiful setting will save you tons on decorating costs.

Go Casual

Hosting an outdoor reception also gives you an excuse to go casual. Consider an informal barbeque or luau in lieu of a conservative five-course meal and you will see your catering bill cut drastically.

Go In-Season

When it comes to flowers, always go with the season. Spring offers countless colorful blossoms sure to complement your color scheme and theme. Be sure to check out the Flowers by Season Guide to get some helpful suggestions.

Go Light

Warmer temperatures also mean fewer layers of clothing, and less clothing leads to lower costs. Lighter fabrics and smaller amounts of it will ultimately take less money out of your pocket. And keep your eyes peeled for good deals on summer sandals that could double as wedding day attire.

For more ideas and advice on planning a spring wedding, visit this complete Spring Themed Wedding Guide at Elegala.com - Elegant Galas Made Simple